Now I am sure most of you might have started singing in your head or even out loud the popular song from the movie Frozen, and the lyrics certainly ring true. Letting go is a skill that we all need to have. Note that I used the word skill as most things are not one hit wonders, they are things that we need to exercise like a muscle to become stronger.
‘Just Let It Go’, how many times have you heard this in your lifetime? Or perhaps you have been the one to say it yourself to yourself or others.
Do you often find yourself struggling with letting go, sometimes actually justifying your need not to let go. Letting go is a skill that you need to have and maintain because it plays a massive part in being happy and successful in all areas of your life.
What are the things that you need to let go of?
Anything that does not serve you in a positive way. When we are considering the concept of letting go we are considering things that we are purposely holding onto even when you don’t realise you doing so.
Self-Awareness of Emotions and the Feelings and Interpretation
There are some emotions that are part of the human psyche, these emotions are necessary however the feelings and interpretations around the emotion is what you need to be careful of. The basic human emotions are fear, anger/indignation, sadness, disgust, shame, pity, envy, joy, surprise, trust, anticipation, kindness and love. (Robert Plutchik’s theory, Aristotle and Darwin) You most likely immediately categorised these emotions into positive and negative. However all of these emotions are actually both positive and negative depending on the context of the situation and how you have interpreted and perceived it.
You can not control how you feel but you can control how you act
The power that you have as a human being is that your actions are always within your control. So coming back to letting go, is what you are holding onto serving you in a way that benefits you mentally, physically and spiritually. What emotions are arising when you think about what you are holding onto, what are you afraid of?
The reasons why we hold onto to something are varied and numerous but it all comes down to the mistaken perception that we are somehow not in control of how we can act. Your actions will be what changes your state, not your mental actionless thoughts. Thinking positive is only part of the process, you must change the state of your entire being in order to release yourself from the pain of what you are holding onto.
Those reasons that somehow justify not letting go of something, are they really valid?
We hold onto things because we are afraid we will forget, sometimes it could be that we are afraid of being happy again because life/God/universe etc will take that happiness away, sometimes it could be that we actually do not think we even deserve to be happy again, sometimes we want to cause pain to someone else, and the list goes on.
However despite the supposed reasons and justifications, is it worth it? Quite simply the answer is no.
So how do you ‘let go’?
You have to commit to making it a goal you actually want to achieve. Like all goals and ambitions it then requires a strategy that subsequently requires some action taking. Each person’s situation is different and so you need to identify specifically what is holding you back, why is it holding you back and what action can you take to move forward.
It is easier said than done so if you can not work through this yourself get assistance by those around you to support you and those who can educate you.
Be Patient
You must be patient with yourself. Some things are easier to let go of than others. If you do not process your thoughts and emotions and work through your own internal obstacles you will find letting go more difficult and it can end up being a very long process.
Take it one day at time – seriously, letting go comes from consistent yet nurturing action, everyday it gets a bit better. You will have that ‘aha!’ moment where you will release what you are holding onto, but to get there you must be patient and consistent. Your intention cannot waver.
Letting go is a skill because life is going to continuously throw situations at you that requires you to let go of negativity. It is not easy however it’s a reality you need to accept if you truly want to be happy and successful in all areas of your life.
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