There are some people who instantly can make us feel important. Some of them just light up a room by just walking in. Some of them just have it, they are naturally charismatic. But what do they do? Unfortunately, natural charisma can be lost quickly in its impact.
There are some people who are incredibly charismatic: they always build different kinds of relationships and they maintain their relationships. They have a positive influence on the people around them, they consistently make people feel better about themselves. They’re the kind of people everyone just wants to be around and most of the time everyone wants to be them.
There are ways that we can all be more charismatic because charisma isn’t about our level of success or our presentation skills, or how we dress or the image we project. Charisma is just about what we do and how we do things.
Here are ways to become more charismatic:
1. Listen more and talk less
Let’s be honest, we are not going to lose anything if we speak less right? By that, we mean speaking less about ourselves. Instead of talking about ourselves we should ask questions. Maintain eye contact and smile not so much verbally, but non-verbally.
Asking someone different questions will show the other person that they’re important. Don’t offer advice unless you’re asked for because we often confuse advice with judging. You don’t want someone to feel judged. By offering advice you make the conversation about you, not them. Don’t believe me? For example: “Here’s what I would do…” that will be about you, right?
2. Don’t listen selectively
Some people are incapable of hearing anything said by other people, they feel somehow beneath them. Incredibly charismatic people listen closely to everyone, and they make all of us, regardless of our position or social status or “level,” feel like we have something in common with them. Because we do.
3. Put your own stuff away
Phone, yes I’m sure you need it, but let’s just put it away. Don’t glance at your monitor, because that will only make the other person feel as if there are more important things to see, read or know than being with them. Don’t focus on anything else, even for a moment. You can never connect with others if you’re busy connecting with your own stuff.
4. Always give before you receive, knowing you may never receive
Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship. Just give. Be remarkably giving. Don’t worry about whether you will receive anything someday.
5. Keep your opinions to yourself
Keep your opinion to yourself, because you know you. You know what your opinions are. You know all of your point of views. You cannot learn from yourself. But you don’t know what other people know. Start hearing out other people’s opinions about the things you are having a conversation about.
6. Shine the spotlight on others
No one receives enough praise. No one. Start with this: start telling people what they did well. If you don’t know what they did well, then shame on you because that was your job to find out. It’s your job to find out ahead of time. Not only will people appreciate your praise,
7. Better your attitude and your words
The words you use affects the attitude of others and it affects you. For example, you don’t have to go to a meeting; you get to go meet with other people. You don’t have to create a presentation for a new client; you get to share cool stuff with other people. We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The approach you take and the words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves and make you feel better about yourself, too.
8. Don’t discuss the failings of others…
No one wants to talk about their bad times. So don’t bring that up to someone you’re with or someone else. We do all like gossip but the problem is, we don’t necessarily like and we definitely don’t respect the people who dish that dirt. Plus don’t laugh at people because when you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them.