The Unspoken Side of Success: Losing Friends and Shifting Circles

There’s a part of everyone’s success journey that nobody likes to talk about. We celebrate all the achievements we are recognized for; we laugh and cry about all the leaps, jumps, breaking down, breaking through, shedding, rebuilding, and everything in between.

But that’s not even the hardest part. There’s a side of success that nobody talks about. People say you are the average of the five people whom you spend the most time with. What happens to your friends, your old social life? What happens to people whom you hung out with, or those who went through life’s ups and downs together? 

Dealing with yourself is certainly a challenge, but having your friends watching you achieve all of the things they’ve dreamed of (and not attained) themselves is a challenge on a whole different level.

The hardest part about growth

Sometimes the hardest part about growth is not the challenges you have to face on your own. It’s the lifestyle, connections, social circles that you may have to leave behind because some people fall behind… meaning, that because you have done so much inner work, your perception and understanding of this world shifts. 

I still remember saying to myself “I feel like no one understands me”. I didn’t mean for this to sound like it’s coming from an emotional teenager. Of course, no one understands you. Because my dear, you’ve got a vision that nobody else can see. The road less traveled is often a lonely road.

You build your new reality based on a whole new set of unstoppable confidence that helps you get to the heights you never knew you could reach. It’s no wonder that it gets more difficult to see things eye-to-eye.

Now I’m not talking about “forgetting your friends or leaving people behind.” Don’t get me wrong.

Why does this happen?

I’m talking about people whom you were once close to. Inevitably, there will be some who get triggered, uncomfortable, or uneasy to see you grow out of your shell. Why does this happen? The answer is simple. Because you took the courage to go after your dreams when they were too afraid to take action. And you got the lifestyle/freedom/money/love/happiness ___________ (fill in the blank)  they have always dreamed of having.

You’ll know who are the ones who get triggered to see you thrive. And the more actions you take, the more you get out of your comfort zone, the more uneasy they get.

“You’ve changed, you’re different, you’re no longer the same person I knew.” 

Soon after you’ll notice friendly questions become a bit uncomfortable. Friendly support becomes, “How much are you making if you don’t mind me asking?”

“per month? per session?”

“Where are you getting clients?”

“How do you know you qualify?”

Questions of curiosity become questions that sound like probing. The more they ask, the more they compare themselves with your success. “I’m happy for you”, they say, forcing a smile with their eyes. Deep down you know they are experiencing mixed emotions about your achievements. Why can’t our catch-ups just be an exchange of good times?

In comes the guilt, the shame, and you realise they become more interested in your “how’s” instead of truly being happy to see you grow. That’s when you start diluting what you tell them because they simply can’t accept your new truth.

But guess what. This is where your growth happens. When your business, career and success start falling in place for you, so do your friends. It’s not about “replacing” new social circles with old ones. It’s about accepting the shifts that happen for you externally, when you grow so much internally. 

What you will have to accept

You will have to accept that when YOU shift, your circles inevitably shift. Your friends shift. And that’s not about being “too good for anyone”, it’s about shedding the inauthentic people who you used to make space for in your life. It’s about making space for more like-minded people who are genuinely happy to cheer for you and see you succeed. Likewise, you make room to cheer for others who do the same for themselves.

Because the Version 2.0 You accept and embrace internal and external renewal.

Most people desire for success, but rarely acknowledge the implications of their shifts because it challenges them to make changes to their existing lifestyle.

So ask yourself, are you truly ready to let go of anything or anyone that is not aligned with your inner truth? Are you ready to say a firm “No” to the people, things, or habits that aren’t conducive to your growth?

Most people aren’t. Most people are afraid to shed. Most people are afraid to welcome a new lifestyle because all of the unspoken changes that no one ever told you about. But that isn’t You. Because you are meant to live in your authentic truth and surround yourself with people who support your destiny. It’s time to let go of anything that is untrue to you and call in your own tribe.

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Women on Topp Magazine

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