It’s important to identify what “having it all” means to you, so that you can focus your efforts and get what you want.
Modern women have an even more challenging role to play in society today, where there’s an expectation to be home-makers, as well as high-flying career professionals. If you’re unclear on what it is that you actually want, you’re subconsciously sending out mixed signals into the Universe (the vortex of infinite energy) and can often face resistance in all your efforts to create the life of your dreams.
The Desire To Have It All Can Be Detrimental
If it’s not really what you want, instead of feeling motivated and excited about your life and the goals you set your Self, you’ll end up burning out, procrastinating and sitting in a static seat of overwhelm where you achieve very little and then beat your Self up over it.
It’s easy to see how many women can fall into a conditioned trap of the role of a woman as being a flawless mother, having a successful career, being independent, with the ability to manage finances, a household and supporting the emotional needs of a partner. If this isn’t the role you want to play, you can choose to opt out. But do decide what’s important to you from a place of authenticity and then go and get it.
Be Clear On What You Really Want
Your childhood influences, role models and upbringing play a major role – whether you acknowledge it or not in the type of life you may think you want to live. Many women fall into the pattern of living a similar life to their mothers, others break free of the pattern and decide on the opposite. What many of us forget to do is check in with ourselves to really interrogate what it means to “have it all” for us as individuals and if it’s true to who we are.
Creating Your Own Path
If you take your Self away from the rebellious nature of going against your family and the expectations of society, or surrendering to the path of your foremothers, then you open up a space for your Self to assess what feels good to you. What it means to have it all for you.
It’s okay for it not to be the life your aunty lives or the one your sister has created for her Self or what suits your friend. You just focus on what you’re about and who you are, so you can set goals for what “having it all” means to you.
How To Know It’s Your Choice
“Having it all” is firstly about deciding what it means to “have it all” to you, instead of what others think it means.
Take all that you’ve learnt from your female role models and be super selective about what really resonates with you at your core. Does this suit me? Does it feel true? Can I see my Self…
Give your Self permission to be self-focused when it comes to your life goals. Remember, you’re the only one in control of making it happen so that you can define and claim your “having it all”.
How to get to your version of “having it all”
1. Decide which core group you identify with right now – women often think they want both because of their upbringing but in actuality they don’t, or they’re not quite there yet:
b. career professional
c. the perfect balance of both
2. Ask your Self if you’re doing the thing you love? If not, make a plan about how to get there and give your Self a timeline to achieve it – stay flexible, compassionate and realistic by taking small steps every day or week so you can see progress
3. Are you making the income you need to free your Self to support your choice in question 1 above? If not, set your goal and create mini-goals to get there.
If you selected option c in question 1 – and you’re still working on financial freedom, ask your Self if you’re able to offer children and family the time they need, or if you are able to afford care whilst you and your partner work and if that’s a suitable choice for you.
You can have it all, you just need to be clear and decide what that means to you.