How to Cure The Disease To Please

  • Published on:
    November 8, 2021
  • Reading time by:
    5 minutes

Whether you are a woman in business, woman in a profession or anyone building upon and working towards their goals and ambitions (in all areas of life), no doubt many if not all have faced the harrowing conflict when it comes to making the right decisions for ourselves. There are different facets to decision making, one aspect is the conflict that occurs from the ‘disease to please’.

Making the right decisions can be difficult, however it only gets more complicated when we have added internal conflicts. 

Disease To Please 

One of the greatest inhibitors to one’s success is when consumed by the disease to please. The need to please people comes from both nature and nurture. It is something we are taught as well as having the innate desire to be ‘liked’. Now granted when you are working with others in any capacity you want to integrate well and connect with people including your audience, customers, clients etc. However if the balance tips more towards always wanting to please them from your side, you will find yourself at the mercy of others and only fulfilling them and their needs. Inevitably this will lead you towards your own unhappiness and the unfulfillment of your own goals and ambitions. 

Many of us have fallen victim to this learned mindset and realise it only after the effects have taken hold and we become dissatisfied. However you can always learn how to correct this mindset and correct the behaviour. 

Wanting to make a good impression (to employers, bosses, co-workers, clients, customers etc) is different to people pleasing. Always remember that your actions need to serve yourself as well as others. 

So how does one progress forward and keep a healthy state of mind and not develop the disease to please? 

Be Self-Aware Before you make a decision – Think – are you saying ‘Yes’ when really you want to say ‘No’. We sometimes confuse ourselves and the desire to please takes over. We are afraid of disappointing someone, that it’s impolite, that if something is within our means we should always say yes, that we should say yes to every opportunity and job, and the list goes on. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it because most likely you will hold resentment, negative energy and not give your full effort towards what you have agreed to. 

‘It is ok to say no, it is ok to say no and people don’t like you for it’ – Oprah 

Everyone struggles or has struggled with the idea of not being liked, because we think that there is something wrong with us and/or it means we are a bad person. This is because we have been conditioned to think this way. You need to correct this mindset if you are wanting to achieve success and happiness. The positive reality is that we cannot please everyone, we do our best to live our truth and do what’s right for us so that in turn we can do right by others. What people think and how they react is outside of your control, the only thing you can control is yourself. When you are making a decision however big or small, think before you speak and speak with confidence. Those with the right mindset will respect you for it. 

People pleasing serves no one, because what you have said yes to begrudgingly has taken away an opportunity for someone else to have done it with positivity as it was right for them not you.  

Take your time, prevent others from rushing you to say ‘yes’ by being prepared with responses. This includes having your ‘no’ response pre planned so that you are confident discussing it. Know your reasons however when you speak do not act like you are trying to justify your decision. When you need time, say you need time, often even those with the best intentions, including our advisors say what they think is right for us but we ourselves are not convinced, so take the time you need within reason – don’t avoid it or procrastinate. 

Follow your intuition – Follow your instincts. We often question what our natural instincts are telling us, while you need to be careful that it is not fear intervening, be sure to take what your initial instinct says seriously. 

Identify what your personality type and explore your psychology. By understanding more about how YOU work, the better you will be able to identify where it stems from for yourself, because we are all unique.

Gain the right mental tools, learn how to use them and keep them sharp and ready to use at any time you need them. Go out there and make the right decisions for you!

Haseena Bheekhun

Haseena Bheekhun is a Coach, Mentor, and Consultant. The scope of expertise in many areas of lifestyle, career life and business spans as wide as the exposure and first-hand experience has enabled her to interpret and understand the do’s and don’ts. Packaging this in a way that caters to the individual and the extended professional environment i.e. small company, large company or organization individuals are able to improve personally and professionally. Haseena’s vision is to empower and enable others to utilize their full potential and achieve their goals, by educating them and the wider community on various issues relating to mindset. Haseena enjoys creative and educational pursuits in philosophy, psychology, technology, science, and art.

You might also enjoy..

How to Become Instantly Smarter Every Day

How to Become Instantly Smarter Every Day

Hey there, savvy minds! Are you ready to unlock the secret to instant brilliance? Whether you're chasing your dreams, conquering your career, or just eager to impress your pals at trivia night, we've got the scoop on how to become instantly smarter every day. It's like a brainpower boost without the need for a fancy, futuristic helmet – just a spri
Signs You're Too Smart For The People Around You

Signs You’re Too Smart For The People Around You

Intelligence is a fascinating and complex trait that varies greatly among individuals. While there is no universally agreed-upon definition of "smart," some people undoubtedly stand out in their ability to process information, solve problems, and think critically. However, being exceptionally intelligent can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation
Ways To Instantly Improve Your Self-Confidence

Ways To Instantly Improve Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is like a secret elixir that can make you shine in any situation, but it's not always easy to come by. While there are the obvious tips like positive self-talk and dressing well, there are countless more unconventional and creative ways to bolster your self-confidence. In this article, we'll delve into some lesser-known strategies t
5 Things To Remember While You Are Broken
by Margaritë Camaj

5 Things To Remember While You Are Broken

We all go through struggles and obstacles. Some have greater obstacles than others. However, we all share one thing in common: our hearts get broken, one way or another. Sometimes, it is because of family members. Sometimes, it is because of our partners. Sometimes, it is simply because life can get too hard.
How To Rediscover Lost Energy for Former Passions

How To Rediscover Lost Energy for Former Passions

Life often has a way of throwing us curveballs, leaving us feeling drained and disconnected from the things we once loved. The daily grind, responsibilities, and unexpected challenges can dim our inner light, making it difficult to find the energy and enthusiasm for our favorite activities. But fear not, for within you lies the power to reignite yo
Guide To Dealing With Negative People

A Woman’s Guide To Dealing With Negative People

Life is a beautiful journey, but it's not always smooth sailing. Along the way, you're likely to encounter negative people who can cast a shadow on your path to happiness and success. Whether it's a critical coworker, a toxic friend, or even a family member who drains your energy, learning how to deal with negative people is a vital skill for your
Aging Gracefully: How To Mentally Accept Aging

Aging Gracefully: How To Mentally Accept Aging

In a world that often idolizes youth and perpetuates the myth of eternal beauty, embracing the natural process of aging can be a profound act of self-love and empowerment. While the physical changes that come with age are undeniable, the way we perceive and mentally accept aging can make all the difference in how we experience this remarkable journ

Join the discussion!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *