I read, “Your word is a currency. It loses value when [your] actions don’t match” by @soulguidance and it reminded me of how we build trust.
What is trust?
Trust is about the ability to rely on someone or something. It’s a belief in knowing that it will be done. Whatever ‘it’ is.
Start by building self-trust
Building trust starts with yourself, in the form of self-trust. How often do you make a promise to yourself, or someone else and then fail to follow through with your actions or behaviours? Actually have a think about this right now so you know where you’re at.
Keeping promises we make to our Selves is the most valuable demonstration of building the relationship we have with Self. When yourself-trust is on point, it becomes easier to trust in the ability of others too. Additionally, you develop the ability to trust others because you lead by example.
The significance of words and actions
My thinking about building trust relates to alignment. When our thoughts, words and actions are in alignment we operate in a frequency of harmony. This relates to something I truly believe allows anyone to build trust in their life, whoever it may be with.
Do what you say you’ll do
When you make a promise to yourself, follow through on that. Try it this week, make one promise to yourself and make sure you carry out the action. Let’s say, you say you’ll spend one hour reading a book this week. Do whatever it takes to carve out that hour. This thought, promise and follow-through action, will begin to build a conscious trust with yourself.
If you had a work call and promised to call them back and then didn’t follow through, how would that impact your relationship with that client or colleague? Are you demonstrating that they can trust you or that this is how they should operate? So, why would you choose to let yourself down? Remember, it’s okay to say that you can get to something on another day and to set a boundary or a deadline that works with what you have on your plate.
When you say you’ll do something, make sure you do it. Our words and our actions or behaviours are all we have to show who we are to the outside world and in our interpersonal connections. Whether, it’s related to work, or your family and friends, remember how important it is to show up for yourself by building trust with yourself and others.
On the odd occasion, when you struggle to follow through on the promise or what you said, it will be much easier for someone to forgive and accept because more often than not, you do follow through on what you say and you’ve already built that belief in them by following through in their past experiences with you.
Being conscious with your words
If words were our actual currency, would you be throwing them out all over the place, or would you carefully consider what you say? Our words and promises lose value with colleagues, clients, family and friends when we react instead of respond and when we fail to follow through with our actions. Decide how you want to present yourself in social gatherings or work environments.
Let’s take an example, where at the beginning of the month you tell your boss lady that you’ll get that important document drafted and back to her by mid-month, so that you can both review and refine it with plenty of time before the end of the month deadline. It gets to mid-month and you inform her that you haven’t started yet. Then it hits the third week and you tell her you’ll make a start early the following week (the last week to submit). At this point, after having given you the benefit of the doubt and trusting you, she begins questioning whether she can rely on you to work on the important and now urgent tasks. Can you see how important our words and following through on them can be? Do you think your boss will trust you with an important task in the future? How will this scenario impact your relationship or connection?
Keeping promises you make to yourself
Start small. One promise, one person, one action to follow through. Also, spend some time reflecting on how you feel when you’ve kept your promises. When you’re starting out in keeping the promises you make to yourself and others it can be a challenge if you’re used to just saying “yes” and people-pleasing, instead of consciously thinking something through. Be compassionate and keep practicing this new behaviour.
You’ll get to a point where you can then transfer this learned behaviour through leading by example at work and in your personal relationships. If you lack self-trust, it can spread into multiple areas of your life. And if it’s the other way round, where you are super diligent and focused in your work life, albeit at the expense of your personal life, then work on developing the relationship you have with yourself by ensuring that you follow through on the promises you make to yourself first.
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