TALK TO YOURSELF
This is the first step. It’s very important to be in conversation with the self while being present in the moment. That can happen only when you are fully present in the moment. It depends on a lot of factors, if one has eaten well, or slept well, and more importantly, on mental health. Conversations with the self keep the mind agile and help us to have a flow of arguments in the head. Focusing on a task requires us to detach ourselves from the load of personal problems, which is why it is very important to not bring the burden of personal problems to the office or bring the office work to home. The mind has to be compartmentalized that way.
This is an extension of the above-mentioned point. It’s very important that we express. Humans are expressive beings. We all have different modes of expressions. Some do it through art, some through words, others do it through actions. It’s okay to struggle at first when we begin. Limited words, not being conveyed from the depth of the heart, can always be a situation – because a lot of us are not verbal thinkers, we are visual thinkers. But this practice to write everyday can help to reflect on all sorts of actions, experiences and thought processes – positive and negative –and retain these while also letting it all go. This prepares us to absorb what builds us. With time, it will help us see things with more clarity, and demarcate a line between different routes our life takes.
HONE YOUR CREATIVE SIDE
When I talk about routes, I must also emphasize on the route leading to our roots. Most of what we are today are the result of how we were moulded in the first six years of ours. Rest of it all, the finishing touches, are our surroundings reacting to us, and we, in turn, reacting to our surroundings.
It doesn’t matter if one is good at painting or not, or at singing and dancing, or at crafts, or not. What matters is keeping that child alive and trying to mindfully enjoy your own company. This can also be your ‘recharge’ time to handle social fatigue. We can never enjoy someone else’s company if we do not truly like ourselves. Baking and photography are two activities that are therapeutic and joyous to many people. And true joy and self-reliance shows on the face and in the attitude. This is something no one can take away from us.
YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO BE INSECURE ABOUT
Repeat this to yourself every day. Humans are not simple, we have shades of white and black, we are layered, and we are not here to impress others. Rather than allowing them to feed on our insecurities and chip away our confidence, we need to learn to live with our imperfections and embrace them, because we all have a few. Someone else’s promotion shouldn’t be a cause of our envy or distress. An inspiring woman focuses on her goals while she pulls up other women and cheers them on their empowerment. This confidence is crucial to coming out of our shells.
SMILE IS A GIFT
You have a gift that’s unique to you and that’s your smile. Smiles are underappreciated. But it’s the first sign to hint that you’re a pleasant company and can make others instantly comfortable. This can also be the first step that you can take out of your comfort zone. Smiles have infectious energy in them. Don’t be disheartened if someone doesn’t return a smile. There will be many more reasons to celebrate. See this as a part of your job and growth of your self-esteem.
HUNGER TO LEARN AND READ MORE
Don’t preach. Preaching isn’t attractive. Do not form opinions on hearsays, and stay away from gossips. That saves extra energy. It’s always advisable to learn from one’s past mistakes. The temperament and work ethics should reflect the zeal to learn and unlearn, without you being much of a talker! Reading more and being loaded with facts on your fingertips doesn’t only give one an extra edge over others, it saves a lot of drama too. The situation at any workplace is never stagnant, and there are always more problems to solve. Your commitment to work will always show in your preparation and how you decide to be in-charge of your life at work.
ACCEPT DEFEATS GRACEFULLY
The willingness to accept defeat and the grace with which one moves on in life is very appreciable in every field. Every day is a new day and a new sun. Your only competition should be you. Accept others as your peers. Not all days will be yours but you can choose to have a healthy workplace environment every day, if one is mature enough to see work as work and not a battlefield. It will only earn you more comrades.
LEARN TO SAY NO
There’s courage in saying no. Be it to someone who is trying to inappropriately flirt with you, or someone who practices exclusion and bias at workplace, or makes fun of a colleague or a junior. Having a voice and the strength to have difference of opinion doesn’t make you party pooper or someone who isn’t a team-player. It makes you stand for what is right and have some integrity – someone who doesn’t only stand up for themselves but also for others. So, don’t be afraid, a ‘no’ is not always wrong – be it a polite disagreement or a vociferous opposition.
One doesn’t have to be a social media addict but liking a colleague’s photo, buying someone a coffee, wishing them on their birthday is not very tough. When two people come together, they don’t have to be best of friends. It’s mutual respect and care and it shows. It’s also easier and more comfortable for many people to talk over phone calls and have long chats over texts. It can make bonding more organic. Make sure to avoid phone while interacting with someone in real life.
SHOW YOUR PRESENCE
Passive presence also works a lot of time. A hug in someone’s grief or happiness, a pat on the back, active listening, making eye contact, and occasional group outings can mark your presence. Active presence includes beginning conversations with small talk (which introverts often avoid). But small talk could also carve a way to warmer conversations, which might lead to discovering mutual interests, opinions and activities. Set boundaries when you explore new people. Opening up to others has to be a gradual process; unforced, slow, and one that seems safe.
Article was written by: Chaitanya Srishti Sinha