The #1 way to build your confidence is through your mindset. You see, confidence is so much more than simply charisma or leadership skills. True self-confidence means that you believe your life matters and you are convinced that you can do anything you put your mind to!
As women, we often feel an insane amount of pressure to look beautiful or to be “super smart” in order to keep up with everyone around us. We think those two things will make us confident. The truth is that you can be the most attractive woman at your company and have all the degrees in the world but if you don’t have the mindset of a badass, you’re going nowhere, sister.
Let’s talk about the 2 Mindset Shifts you can implement immediately:
1 Shift Your Mindset from Fixed to Growth
There are 2 types of mindsets: Fixed Mindset and Growth Mindset.
A woman with a Fixed Mindset believes that life is hard all the time. She’s a victim in her story. Life is happening to her. She thinks people are always trying to screw her over and she’s always getting the short end of the stick. She repeats in her head daily, “Of course this crap is happening to me! Ugh.. This always happens!!”
If she’s good at something, she’ll keep doing it, but if she’s bad at something, she gives up immediately- even if she needs to be good at that thing in order to reach her biggest dreams. She takes everything people say personally because she’s looking for ways to confirm her deepest fears: that she isn’t lovable, or awesome, and doesn’t have anything special to offer the world.
On the other hand, a woman with a Growth Mindset believes she’s the hero of her story. Life is happening for her. She believes that she’s Wonder Woman, the main character of this movie called life and an upbeat soundtrack is beating to her footsteps! This doesn’t make her cocky; she believes very much in herself and at the same time believes very much in the women around her.
A Growth Mindset woman loves a good challenge because she trusts herself to overcome. She repeats in her head daily, “Failure is an opportunity to grow so I will take leaps of faith that scare the living crap out of me because the worst thing that could happen is that I learn a valuable lesson!”
She decides that she likes to try new things, she decides to have a positive attitude and she decides that she can get good at whatever the hell she wants to! This woman is open to constructive feedback because she’s hungry to get better. This woman is powerful, fierce, and loving because she decides to be.
In any given situation, on a daily basis, each of us are handed opportunities where we get to choose between a Growth Mindset or a Fixed Mindset. Awareness is the first step. Which mindset will you intentionally choose today?
2 Shift Your Limiting Beliefs to Empowering Truths
Limiting Beliefs are lies you tell yourself that are holding you back from having unshakable confidence and are stopping you from taking action on that thing you keep saying you want to take action on! These lies may not even be conscious lies because you’ve been believing them since you were very young. They may even feel like truth! Luckily, you are 100% in control of your brain and you get to choose what you want to believe about yourself.
Limiting Beliefs sound like this:
- “My grandma was overweight, my mom is overweight, so I will always be overweight.”
- “Having lots of money will make me a bad person.”
- “Dating sucks, there are no good guys out there, all the good ones are taken.”
- “I’m not smart enough to land that job, so I’m not going to apply.”
Unfortunately, Limiting Beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies when you repeat them often enough. A self-fulfilling prophecy means you believe something so fully that it actually becomes true. Whether you realize it or not, when you subconsciously (or consciously!) repeat a Limiting Belief over and over again, you put this strange energy out into the universe that somehow makes things happen the exact way you pictured it.
Here is an example of my personal Limiting Beliefs & The Truth:
Limiting Belief: People think you’re annoying, loud, obnoxious and wish you would shut up more. You’re “too much” for people to handle.
The Truth: Most likely no one thinks you’re annoying and the people who do think that you’re annoying aren’t the people you want to have in your life. You’re wonderful just as you are. You are lovable and people enjoy your big personality!
Now it’s your turn. Create a list of all of the Limiting Beliefs you’ve told yourself and think about how they are holding you back. Then, write out The Truth. Cross out the Limiting Belief. Write The Truth’s on sticky notes and hang them around your house, reading them out loud when you walk by!
Remember: The Truth might not feel like the truth at first because you’ve likely been telling yourself the Limiting Belief for many years. As you begin repeating The Truth over & over again, similar to affirmations, you will slowly start to believe it. It’s like a placebo pill for your brain!
Your mind is a powerful tool that you can use to support your greatness or to tear yourself down. You are Wonder Woman. You are loveable. You are smart. You are worthy. Life is happening for you. Choose these affirmations as your truth and take time daily to build your confidence by shifting your mindset.
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