How To Move Past Rejection – 10 Step Guide

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  • Published on:
    April 20, 2020
  • Reading time by:
    6 minutes

Whether you’ve been rejected after a few dates or a long-term relationship, being ghosted or even from a job. Rejection sucks! Rejection is never easy and at some point, all boss women have had some experience of rejection. While it may be tempting to continue to chase down that person who has rejected you, in order to deal with rejection, we need to regain our self-confidence and boost our ego. 

Your 10 Step Guide:

  1. Understand that your pain is normal 

Rejection causes real pain, both emotional and physical. Denying it or brushing it off can actually do more harm than good. So instead, acknowledge that your feelings were hurt and that this individual has caused you pain. This is the first step to moving on. 

  1. Allow yourself to be upset

Chalking things up to “it’s no big deal” or trying to appear “tough” or even “keeping a stiff upper lip” is repressing your emotions. Rather, allow yourself that grieving period of being upset. 

  1. Express your feelings

Once you’ve given yourself that period to grieve, express yourself. Express all those emotions that you feel after being rejected, whether it’s crying, screaming or throwing a couple punches and kicks into the air. Allow yourself to let out all those pent-up emotions and do not belittle or bottle up your feelings. 

  1. Avoid personalizing the rejection

Going through rejection can create intense feelings of disappointment, abandonment and even loss. After all, this was something that you put in time and effort and even had hopes and dreams of what it could be. However, being rejected does not mean that you are unworthy, so stop chalking it to your personality. Try writing a list of all your positive attributes instead, these are all the things that someone else will treasure, someone that is worthy of you and not the other way around. 

  1. Stay healthy

It is so easy to slip into the negative emotions of rejection which may cause you to waste away and not take care of yourself. You no longer have an appetite, you may want to stay curled up in a ball in bed or simply not engage with anyone. But, you should never neglect your bodily needs and waiver on your duty to remain healthy and fit. So go out, exercise and eat. 

  1. Have fun

Being rejected can really suck the fun out of everything. Where you used to plan for two, you are now planning for one. However, this doesn’t have to be the case. Reach out to your family and friends, go out someplace far or where you’ve always wanted to go but couldn’t with your partner. Use this as an opportunity to do all the things that you’ve always wanted to do but your partner wasn’t too keen. 

  1. Learn something new

Learning to do something new or gaining a new skill will help you to feel successful and repair your wounded self-confidence. This could be learning a new language, a new dish or even taking up dancing. Learning something new is a great distraction and an added unique bonus that you can boast about. 

  1. Let time heal

It’s an age-old cliché but time really does heal all wounds as long as you are in no contact with that individual. Time gives you a perspective on the relationship and the type of person you are as well as your ex-partner. You may find you’re better off without them after all. 

  1. Treat yourself

“Retail therapy” can actually have some positive effects. Spoiling yourself with something new or even getting a new haircut is all in the process of blissfully moving on. 

  1. Practice forgiveness 

And lastly, no matter what, do not letter the bitterness of rejection turn you into something else, something that you’re not. Learn from your experience, grow from it, be the bigger person, forgive and move on and be done with

Sheinna Mungroo

A South African native undertaking her Master’s in Human Resource Management. Her primary objective is balancing the needs and goals of both the company and the workforce to create a harmonious employee-and business-centric atmosphere whilst improving the standing of women in upper management. She’s an avid lover of books, fashion, beauty, the arts, flowers and cool notebooks. She was also a Finalist for the Miss India South Africa 2017 pageant. Sheinna believes in exploring as many creative streams in life as this is a form of expression and a link between our internal and external worlds. When she’s not painting up a storm, she loves exploring new cafés and chocolate desserts. 

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