One day I woke up with the most beautiful ocean front view. The breeze was heavenly, the birds were singing. I had made the most money I had ever made in my life. I was healthy. I had a lovely husband. Why wasn’t I happy? I felt guilty. “I should be happier by now” was a constant thought on my mind. Successful women: we give up a lot on our way to success.
I was raised in a middle class family in Colombia. Through persistence, hard work and a change of mindset from “just getting by” to “abundance,” I was able to achieve more than my parents ever dreamed of. I was proud, but I wasn’t happy. I longed for peace. I longed for fulfilment.
In my journey to true happiness and peace, I studied, read, traveled, meditated, prayed, danced, ended things, started others, cried, laughed, but most importantly: I let go. The strong and successful women, we are a special breed. We wanted it and we made it happen. But on the way, we abandoned something.
On our way to success:
We became overly judgemental of ourselves and others, especially other women. This separates us from the world. We are born to collaborate and uplift each other, and on the way to success, we were taught to step on others. This can never bring us happiness.
We became jealous, regardless of our achievements. There’s always someone else with more money, a better apartment, a better husband, a better body.
We became needy of recognition to feel valuable. The truth is, your value was defined at your moment of birth. Nothing external can add or take away from your God-given value. It is set now and forever. Isn’t that a relief?
We became addicted to “the next thing” to achieve happiness. The next job, the next city, the next boyfriend, the next pair of shoes. The truth is these things can only bring temporary happiness. The constant and still happiness can only be recognized and nurtured from within. You can access it in any instant.
On our way to success, we began to feel damaged. We achieve what we want, we conquer the next level, yet we still feel like girls who need something, all the time. It is never enough. Our mind plays a dirty trick on us. It tells us we need “all that” to be happy, and when we achieve it, it tells us: “You are not happy because there is something fundamentally wrong with you.” Sound familiar?
It’s a never ending cycle
How do we fix this? How do we unlearn the way we have been living? How do we shift from feeling inadequate and empty, to feeling whole? It’s a process that requires 2 things: commitment and training our minds.
We must learn the true principles of peace. These principles are not difficult, but they are different. The spiritual growth principles are not complicated, but our resistance makes them complicated. You will learn to think in the exact opposite way you have been thinking all your life. You will learn to act in the exact opposite way you have been acting all your life. Recognize the resistance and then release it into a new way of life. Your appearance won’t change, but you will smile more often. A beautiful stillness will come from you, and nothing can ever touch it.
10 steps that can serve as guidance for your own life
1. Get to know your true essence.
We are born loving, innocent, and kind. The world teaches us to be competitive, to envy and to judge. Living through fear makes you feel small and inadequate. You were born to express and receive love, to express and receive compassion. You are living in the darkness of judgement where the world is small and scary. You have to turn on the light on your true essence. This is essential to feeling aligned, on purpose and connected to all of us. We want to be connected to you.
2. Embrace your feminine power.
Feminism has done great things for us. However, it has also confused us and diminished our self-steem. We spend our days acting through our masculine energy in our jobs or companies. And although that is not innately wrong, we must accept that we have abandoned our most profound needs to be nurtured and protected as delicate women. I longed for it and when I allowed my magnetic feminine power to have a voice in my life, I felt peace. I felt aligned. I felt more like myself. And a million possibilities were available to me because of it.
3. See the innocence in others.
We don’t start our day planning to make all the mistakes we make. We don’t start the year planning to be angry, or jealous or to intentionally hurt others. Sometimes things just happen. We get triggered, we fail to take a step back, we don’t know how to handle disagreements. This applies to everyone who has hurt you. You can only see the innocence in you, when you are willing to accept the innocence in others. Forgiveness is the biggest freedom, and you can learn to forgive.
4. Live with intention.
If you want to be happy, you have to do it on purpose. You can’t just wake up and see what kind of day you are going to have. When you wake up and intentionally dedicate your day to peace, happiness, learning, joy, or whatever applies for you, then you have a benchmark to guide you. Challenges may come and go, but your day can still follow your intention. There is intention in all the processes of the Universe and we can decide to intentionally have a wonderful life.
5. Trust the infinite intelligence of the Universe.
The Universe is self-organizing and self-correcting. There is a tendency to improve all things at all times. When you get sick, the body knows how to heal you. When you are conceived, the cells know how to become a baby. Seasons always change, the sun always come out, the planets keep moving. What makes you think the Universe doesn’t have a mechanism to help you? We are always being guided to our highest good, but we get in our own way. We know what our intuition is telling us, but we don’t like what it says. You were guided, but you chose to ignore the guidance.
6. Be of service.
Changing the world doesn’t happen thousands of miles away. Changing the world happens in your immediate circles. These are the places you were assigned to: your family, your lover, your friends, your colleagues, your employees. They are your mirrors, they are your light, and you are the light for them. If you are waiting for a sign, this is it. You and I have a role in the healing of the world. It is not a coincidence you are reading this.
7. Take Inspired action.
When we are inspired, we are in Spirit, something magical takes over us and nothing can stop us. Many ideas for inspired action come to your mind every day. You are the chosen messenger to make that a reality. But the idea is not yours to keep. If you do not act on it, it will pass on to another mind that is ready. Don’t wait for a better idea, take inspired action on the ones you already have!
8. Join a tribe.
In the deepest place in our mind, we are all one mind. What you wish onto others, you wish for yourself. There is an awakening in the world and people are seeking for truth and walking towards fulfilment. You are one of them. An idea becomes stronger when shared. Keep searching until you find the right tribe for you, for support, encouragement and growth. They will not be perfect, but they will be willing to see the innocence in themselves and in you.
9. Don’t obsess.
I believe in doing what feels right for me. Only you know what feels good, right and aligned for you. A feeling of discomfort is a sign that you must do things differently. However, be careful with obsessing with the lifestyle choices that sustain your well-being. I feel great when I eat a salad, but I also love a good steak. I love meditating, but I also enjoy dancing with my friends. I embrace all different aspects of life that bring me joy. We can’t judge others because they eat meat, or because they don’t do yoga. These ‘labels’ nowadays have only one purpose: to separate and isolate us. When we feel separated, we feel unhappy, regardless of our diet or spiritual beliefs. In my adult life, I have been more judged by women, yogis and vegans, than by any man.
10. Release the outcome.
Knowing your true essence, acting through intention, trusting the Universe, and being of service to others is the most balancing and empowering combination of attitudes. Living through these principles means you are fully aligned with the most beautiful forces of the Universe. You are being directed and guided at all times to your highest self, your most beautiful opportunities for fulfilment and your role in the healing of the world. What will come from that, in its own time, will be far bigger and more precious than anything you can create with your own effort or your desire to control.