Friendships should uplift, inspire, and bring joy. But what if some of your closest friends are actually keeping you from growing into the best version of yourself? While toxic friends are easy to spot, some friendships hold you back in ways that are much harder to notice. These aren’t always the obvious energy vampires or drama queens—they may even be people who genuinely care about you. Read on The Type of Friends That Are Secretly Holding You Back.
The Type of Friends That Are Secretly Holding You Back
Here are the unexpected types of friends that might be subtly preventing you from reaching your full potential.
1. The ‘Good Enough’ Friend
This friend is comfortable with where they are in life—and they want you to stay at their level too. They subtly discourage ambition because they fear change. They might say things like:
- “Why work so hard? You should just relax and enjoy life.”
- “You’re already doing fine, why push yourself?”
While there’s nothing wrong with being content, being surrounded by people who never strive for more can make you settle for less than you deserve. Growth requires being around people who challenge and inspire you, not just those who keep you comfortable.
2. The Friend Who Relives the Past
Do you have a friend who constantly reminisces about “the good old days”? They bring up high school stories, past relationships, or a time when life was “better.” The problem? They’re stuck in nostalgia and unintentionally keep you from moving forward.
- They might say: “Remember when we were so carefree? Life was so much easier back then!”
- They encourage you to dwell on the past instead of looking ahead.
While it’s nice to cherish memories, real friendships grow with you, not keep you trapped in yesterday.
3. The ‘Let’s Do It Later’ Friend
This friend loves making plans but never follows through. They have big dreams but always find an excuse to delay action. The worst part? Their energy is contagious.
- They constantly say: “We should totally do this someday!”—but “someday” never comes.
- Their procrastination can influence you to delay your own goals.
Being around people who always postpone their dreams makes it easier for you to do the same. Surround yourself with doers, not just dreamers.
4. The Friend Who Only Supports the Old You
You’ve grown, changed, and evolved—but they want you to stay the same.
- They say things like: “You’ve changed.” (and not in a good way)
- They act uncomfortable when you make positive changes in your lifestyle, career, or mindset.
- They subtly guilt-trip you for evolving.
True friends celebrate your growth. If someone makes you feel bad for becoming a better version of yourself, they may be holding you back.
5. The ‘Subtle Competitor’ Friend
This one is tricky because competition in friendships can sometimes be healthy. But if a friend always tries to “one-up” your achievements, it can become toxic.
- You share good news, and they immediately shift the conversation to their own success.
- Instead of celebrating your wins, they downplay them or compare them to theirs.
- They feel the need to “catch up” when you accomplish something.
A good friend will clap for you without feeling threatened. If someone always makes it about themselves, they’re more of a competitor than a true supporter.
6. The Friend Who Fears Your Risks
This friend means well, but their fear-based mindset holds you back. Every time you want to take a leap—whether it’s a new job, moving cities, or trying something bold—they immediately point out all the risks.
- They say things like: “Are you sure that’s a good idea? It sounds risky.”
- They focus on what could go wrong instead of what could go right.
While caution is important, constant fear-based thinking can make you second-guess yourself. Growth requires taking risks, and you need friends who encourage you to be brave.
7. The ‘Comfort Zone’ Friend
This friend wants to keep things the same forever. They don’t like change, and they don’t want you to change either.
- They discourage you from trying new things.
- They insist on doing the same activities and routines.
- They get uncomfortable when you explore new interests.
While stability is great, life is about evolution. The best friends are those who grow with you, not those who keep you stuck.
8. The Friend Who Over-Identifies With You
This is the friend who sees you as an extension of themselves. They expect you to think, behave, and live the way they do. If you start making choices that don’t align with their lifestyle, they take it personally.
- They react negatively if your values, habits, or priorities change.
- They assume you’ll always be the same person you were when you first met.
- They struggle to accept your individuality.
Friendship should allow for individuality. If someone expects you to always be the version of yourself that suits them, they’re holding you back.
9. The Emotionally Dependent Friend
This friend relies on you for emotional support but never seems to grow from it. While it’s natural to support our friends, some friendships become one-sided emotional burdens.
- They constantly vent about the same issues but never take action.
- They expect you to always be available to listen, no matter what’s happening in your life.
- Their problems become your problems, leaving you emotionally drained.
Healthy friendships involve mutual support. If a friend’s emotional needs always take priority over yours, it might be time to set boundaries.
10. The Friend Who Sees You as a Backup Plan
This friend keeps you around but only when it’s convenient for them. They disappear when they’re busy or have other priorities but expect you to be available when they need you.
- They cancel plans last minute.
- They only reach out when they need something.
- They don’t invest the same effort in your friendship as you do.
A friendship should be mutual. If someone only values you as a backup option, they don’t deserve a front-row seat in your life.
The Type of Friends That Are Secretly Holding You Back: Choose Friends Who Propel You Forward
Friendships should be about mutual growth, encouragement, and genuine support. If any of these friendship types sound familiar, it might be time to reevaluate how they’re affecting your life.
The best friends are those who inspire you, push you toward greatness, and celebrate your evolution. Choose wisely.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and celebration! Here’s to strong women – may we know them, may we be them, may we inspire them!
With love and inspiration,
Women on Topp Magazine
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