Turning 30 is a significant milestone for many women, one that can spark reflection on where we’ve been, where we are, and where we want to go. It’s a time when expectations from society, family, and even ourselves, can feel overwhelming. Amid this, I found that achieving true happiness in my 30s didn’t come from the usual advice of “work harder,” “exercise more,” or “find your purpose.” Instead, I discovered one simple change that made all the difference. Read on The One Thing I Did to Be Happier in My 30s (And You Can Too).
This is not about quick fixes, clichés, or trendy self-care routines. It’s about something deeper, something more fundamental that can transform how you view happiness in this stage of life—and it’s available to anyone who is willing to try it.
The One Thing I Did to Be Happier in My 30s (And You Can Too)
The Game-Changer: Learning to Let Go of Perfectionism
For years, I lived my life with a tight grip on perfectionism. Whether it was my career, relationships, or even the way I looked, I thought happiness was something I had to earn by being “perfect.” But in my 30s, I realized that chasing perfection was actually robbing me of my peace.
Letting go of perfectionism became my secret to happiness. No longer striving to meet unattainable standards gave me the freedom to enjoy the present moment without the weight of self-criticism. I learned to appreciate imperfection and started to embrace the messiness of life, which, ironically, led me to more joy.
Understanding the Roots of Perfectionism
Perfectionism often starts early in life. It’s the voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough unless we achieve certain milestones, look a specific way, or behave in a “perfect” manner. This mindset is often reinforced by societal pressures, social media portrayals, and our inner desire to prove ourselves to others.
As we enter our 30s, we might feel more pressure to have it all together. But the truth is, nobody has it all figured out. Life is unpredictable, and trying to control everything only leads to stress and burnout. Perfectionism creates an illusion that happiness is something outside ourselves, waiting to be attained once we meet these impossible standards.
How Letting Go Changed My Life
When I decided to let go of perfectionism, I began experiencing life differently. I didn’t have to meet every goal perfectly to feel accomplished. I learned that it was okay to make mistakes, to not have all the answers, and to let go of the pressure to be constantly “on.” Here’s how it shifted my perspective:
- Less Stress, More Joy: By releasing the need to be perfect, I noticed a reduction in anxiety and stress. Without constantly worrying about how I was perceived, I started finding joy in the little things—spontaneous adventures, quiet mornings, and unplanned conversations.
- Improved Relationships: Perfectionism can strain relationships because we often hold others to the same impossible standards we set for ourselves. Letting go of that need to “fix” everyone and everything allowed me to show up more authentically in my relationships. I started embracing imperfections in my loved ones, which made our connections deeper and more genuine.
- Rediscovering Self-Love: As I stopped trying to be perfect for others, I started focusing more on self-compassion. I forgave myself for mistakes, embraced my flaws, and celebrated small victories. This shift in perspective led to a stronger sense of self-worth and a deeper appreciation for who I was, rather than who I thought I should be.
- Increased Creativity and Productivity: Perfectionism can stifle creativity because it prevents you from taking risks or trying new things. By letting go of the need for flawless results, I became more open to experimentation and growth. It allowed me to pursue passions I had been too afraid to try before, and as a result, I became more productive and fulfilled.
The Science Behind Letting Go of Perfectionism
Studies have shown that perfectionism is linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that individuals who struggle with perfectionism are more likely to experience burnout and less likely to enjoy life. The same study also highlighted how perfectionism can diminish self-esteem, as perfectionists often tie their worth to their achievements rather than their intrinsic value.
By releasing the hold perfectionism has on our lives, we can reduce the toxic stress it creates and replace it with a healthier, more sustainable approach to happiness. Practicing self-compassion and embracing imperfection can not only improve mental health but also foster a more balanced, fulfilling life.
Practical Steps to Letting Go of Perfectionism
- Identify Your Perfectionist Triggers: Start by recognizing areas of your life where you feel pressure to be perfect. Is it your work? Your appearance? Your social media presence? Understanding where your perfectionist tendencies arise is the first step toward change.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes. Instead of criticizing yourself, speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. Practice affirmations that encourage self-love and acceptance.
- Embrace Imperfection: Try to view imperfections as opportunities for growth. Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, consider them as valuable lessons. This shift in mindset will allow you to be more flexible and adaptable in your approach to life.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Rather than aiming for perfection, set realistic and achievable goals. Break down big tasks into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate progress along the way, even if it’s not perfect.
- Let Go of Control: Life is unpredictable. Accepting this truth can be freeing. Practice letting go of the need to control every outcome and allow space for spontaneity, flexibility, and even failure.
- Seek Support: If perfectionism is deeply ingrained, consider speaking to a therapist or coach who can help you work through these tendencies. Therapy, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is highly effective in addressing perfectionism and helping you adopt healthier thought patterns.
Why This Works for Women in Their 30s
In our 30s, we are often juggling multiple roles—career, family, friendships, and personal growth. The pressure to “do it all” perfectly can be overwhelming. Letting go of perfectionism allows you to focus on what truly matters, whether it’s nurturing meaningful relationships, advancing in your career, or taking time for self-care. This shift towards a more balanced and authentic life can lead to deeper satisfaction and long-lasting happiness.
Conclusion The One Thing I Did to Be Happier in My 30s (And You Can Too): You Deserve to Be Happy Without Perfection
Happiness in your 30s doesn’t come from striving to be perfect—it comes from embracing who you are right now, flaws and all. Letting go of perfectionism has been my key to unlocking a more joyful, peaceful life, and it’s a change anyone can make. By learning to embrace imperfection, practice self-compassion, and release unrealistic expectations, you can start living a more fulfilling and authentic life. The choice to be happy is in your hands—embrace it, imperfections and all.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and celebration! Here’s to strong women – may we know them, may we be them, may we inspire them!
With love and inspiration,
Women on Topp Magazine
By subscribing, you accept the privacy rules of our website.
