Mind Your Language – Mastering Self-Talk

  • Photos by:
    周 康
  • Published on:
    July 1, 2018
  • Reading time by:
    4 minutes

Mastering Self-Talk

Self-Talk, a topic that is getting the limelight these days in the personal development world. It is widely becoming a focus point in societies around the world as part of the change in attitude and beliefs towards mental health. 

Mastering the art of Self-Talk is crucial to a healthy state of mind. Let’s break this down and help you on your way to begin such mastery. 

  1. Know your own Voice – This can be challenging in today’s society, however, it is important to take the time to discover your own voice. What I mean by this is what are your values, principles, thoughts, feelings, understandings, and beliefs. You don’t need to initially disclose this to anyone so you don’t need to worry about feeling judged or misinterpreted. Get these out on paper, audio, draw a diagram, do whatever you feel most comfortable with. The more confident and comfortable you are with your own voice the more you will be able to identify if you are having positive or negative self-talk 
  2. Language – what are the actual words that you are using when you speak to yourself? Are the words you are using positive or negative? 
  3. Feelings – how do you feel when you are listening to your self-talk, what emotions are you experiencing?
  4. Tone – What tone of voice is the one in your head when you are listening to self-talk? 

With the information you have, it would be good to reflect on what you have discovered. Self-talk can enable you or disable you. Your self -talk needs to empower you. As much or as good as the support is around you, their support cannot help you if your own self -talk is negative. 

What is Positive Self-Talk? –

It is when the voice and language of your self-talk is aligned with your goals and ambitions, as well as your values, principles and beliefs. Which also means you are able to be honest and critical in a nurturing way. This actually makes it become empowering self-talk. 

When you are able to have an empowered voice no matter what comes your way your inner voice will be able to guide you confidently and compassionately. 

When your voice meets your gut

Your ‘gut feeling’ tells you instinctively before you even have time to actively think, how you feel about anything. It’s a raw feeling that is based on what feels true to you at the time. Often our consciousness comes into play and our ‘voice’ causes conflict with this feeling which leads to the feeling of uncertainty and indecisiveness. So when you have empowered self-talk this will be in synergy with your innate instinctive feelings. 

So coming back to the reflective exercise, it’s a fluid process, not a one time wonder, it’s a skill like any other so you need to ensure that you revisit this regularly or at least when you feel the need to review your self-talk. 

What to do if you are having negative self-talk?

As obvious as it sounds, you need to make sure that you identify that this is the case first. If you refuse to embrace that it’s happening then you won’t be motivated or focused to change. Change – you have to believe that you will be able to change. Identify what is causing the negative self-talk. Are there events in your life that are the cause and reason behind it? Pinpoint the event, and ask yourself how you actually feel? How do you think it has affected you? What do you think you could do to start changing – what do you think would need to happen to start making peace with what is affecting you and be able to improve the self-talk? 

The Reality

It’s not easy to sustain empowered self-talk and/or turn negative self-talk into positive, however, once you have the willingness to change, and believe you deserve the best that this life can give you, then you are already one step ahead. 

You deserve to have an empowered voice. No one but you can build your inner strength and ensure that you have empowered self-talk. If you need help with this then reach out to the right people, don’t sit alone with a negative voice in your head.

Looking to others for inspiration must always come second to being first and foremost inspired by yourself. Mastering the art of Self-Talk is a continuous journey that takes mindful attention but in exchange, you will become Limitless. 

 

Haseena Bheekhun

Haseena Bheekhun is a Coach, Mentor, and Consultant. The scope of expertise in many areas of lifestyle, career life and business spans as wide as the exposure and first-hand experience has enabled her to interpret and understand the do’s and don’ts. Packaging this in a way that caters to the individual and the extended professional environment i.e. small company, large company or organization individuals are able to improve personally and professionally. Haseena’s vision is to empower and enable others to utilize their full potential and achieve their goals, by educating them and the wider community on various issues relating to mindset. Haseena enjoys creative and educational pursuits in philosophy, psychology, technology, science, and art.

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