It can be shocking and upsetting to learn that your child has gotten in trouble for picking on others or been labeled a bully.
Your kid’s clothes may not fit right or be brand-new. Your kid may not have a lot of friends. Your kid may not be good at sports. But your kid is a good friend to your circle; your kid is a responsible kid; and is a student that likes math, science, and reading adventures. That makes your kid awesome.
Advocating self-love and compassion for others, for children shows the importance of not judging others based on who or what you think they should be. Instead, judge others based on their character and the actions you see. With discussions questions included, Please Don’t Judge Me helps parents and educators talk about the topic of bullying with the youth.
Lasha Murray’s Anti Bullying Movement Please Don’t Judge Me
Lasha Murray believes strongly in the against bullying movement and wrote a book caters to Elementary school children called Please Don’t Judge Me. It advocates against bullying by encouraging self-love and acceptance. Not only does it provide tips but it is also a workbook in the back that helps parents and educators start the conversations about bullying. With the belief that early and often conversations about bullying is the only way to effectively invoke change.
Lasha is passionate about this anti-bullying movement and honored this mission chose her. Majority of parents ask their children if they’ve been bullied, the miss is most parents never ask their child if they ARE the bullying. This mission and movement are close to Lasha Murray’s heart as a Mom who discovered that her sweet child became the bully. Through educating herself on how this happened, it lit the fire and the desire in her to do something about it.
Who is Lasha Murray? Why is this movement so important?
I was born in Flint, MI. I was bullied countless times. I was bullied because I was light-skinned with long hair. I grew and learned to love myself. I’m a mother who teaches my kids to love themselves pass their insecurities and treat everyone with kindness and respect. I am a wife that loves to date my husband.
I’m a Daughter, a Sister, an Aunt, a Grand-daughter, a Cousin and a Friend. I love hard in all of my relationships and wake up every day thankful for the next. I truly believe this mission chose me and I am thankful it did. Living with Purpose makes days easier. To speak in schools about bullying, to help parents speak to their children about bullying and to hopefully reach one to teach one is truly why this movement is so important.
You are a mom of three, have you ever experienced a moment of your kids getting bullied? If so, what did you do about it?
I’m washing clothes, as I am emptying my 3rd graders pockets a find a folded up paper. I toss the paper to the table it falls to the floor. My 3rd grader, quickly says to me, “I will throw that away, Momma.” I told him no thank you, as I continue to load the washer. He persists further, “Momma it’s no big deal I can throw that away for you.” The Mommy Mighty Sense instantly kicks in and now I am curious.
I decide to open and read what’s on the folded paper and it is a very vile and disgusting note my son has written to a girl however in between each disgusting sentence it names another little boy. Johnny says you’re ugly, Johnny says you’re stupid signed my son. Through a conversation with my son, I learned this was one of three letters that they’ve given to this young lady in their third-grade class.
I go up to the school the next day. I ask to speak to the principal and my son and I show him the letter. I absolutely ratted my son out! I felt the need to make sure that little girl’s confidence was restored by myself, my son, her parents, the principal and anyone else involved. As the principal and I started to dig deeper and find out why my son wrote this letter, it was determined that Lil Johnny liked the young lady, she, however, liked my son.
Lil Johnny threatened to beat my son up if he didn’t write and give these letters to her as a way for her not to like either of them. How profound, a 3rd grader could be so manipulative. That is when I knew, I had to write something for children. Something that encourages love and self-acceptance while advocating against bullying.
What was it like when you launched Please Don’t Judge Me, how did that go?
In September I had my book launch event. It was amazing, so much support from my family, community, coworkers and some local teachers. It was such an emotional day filled with children and adults sharing with me the first time they were bullied. This book was a seven-year journey for me, so finally having an opportunity to release it and receive such love and support is an amazing feeling.
Any great stories from a customer who bought Please Don’t Judge Me?
At my book launch, I met a young lady in the fourth grade. She shared with me she was being bullied so I asked her what she was doing about it. She shrugged and responded, “nothing.” I asked her if she was talking to anyone at the school about it or her parents, and she shrugged. I told her she was beautiful and that she can’t hold in the negative emotions. I asked her to go to one of the tables I had set up. There was a letterhead that reads;
Dear Bully what I want you to know. I encouraged her to write out her feelings to the bully, the parent of the bully or the school. She did so and we hugged and I thanked her and her parents for bringing her. Later her mother sent this note to my husband; “Sometimes the people you met become the people God wanted in your path. Very thankful to a brother in blue that invited us to his wife’s book launch and signing of her first book, Please don’t judge me. An elementary level book based on how we should not judge people about their look or appearance but accepting them for who they are and their actions. Blessings Lasha.”
We love your idea of anti-bullying movement, what is the biggest advice you can share with parents out there who are having kids of their own?
Often times parents ask their children if they’ve been bullied. The miss is asking your child if they’re the bully. It is important to discuss all facets of bullying early and often. Pay attention to the change in your child’s behavior, if they are sad more often or quick to anger. Often times the moods your child displays at home are the same and most times worse once they get to school. Get and stay involved, it is ok to be a parent and not your child’s friend.
What is your next step, do you plan to write more books about bullying?
I would love to. I want to write a book for middle schoolers. My kids are a 6th grader and two 7th graders. I want to co-write this book with them. Who better to speak on middle school bullying than my middle schoolers. I want to eventually go on to write for high school and even adult bullying. It is my belief that child bullies become adult bullies.
Would you say you have to have specific potential needs in order to start writing a book like yours? If so, what are the specific potential needs?
People say if you find your passion you find your purpose. Advocacy and being the voice of others who aren’t always able to speak for themselves has always been a passion of mine. I wanted to be the change I wanted to see. I knew the experience of my children and I could help others. Everyone has a purpose, a story to tell and someone that can learn from that experience. Take those experiences and help others through your own life’s journey.
How do you make sure anyone can find your book Please Don’t Judge Me?
I am very active in my social media as well as speaking at schools and teaming up with local organizations that support my anti-bullying movement. My website is www.pleasedontjudgeme2018.com. On Nov 10th I’ve teamed up with the Girls Scout SW TX Chapter for their Be a Friend First, Let’s Unite kick-off celebration. I’ll continue to engage schools for speaking opportunities and look for more book fair opportunities to get this word out.