Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. Sometimes, we feel like we need to be perfect and it can be exhausting, especially if you feel like you’re doing it all alone.
I had to forgive myself for being so tough on myself. Striving to be perfect was hard work.
My need to appear perfect – like I’ve got everything under control and can manage work, my love and family life, my self-development, domestic and culinary expectations was getting in the way of my growth. I was being self-critical to the point where it was hindering my progress in life in general.
Self-acceptance to freedom
I needed to learn to accept myself as I am, my strengths and weakness, so that when I make mistakes, I start seeing these as learning experiences for my growth instead of seeing myself as failing. Who was I still trying to impress and seek validation from anyway?
Childhood conditions haunt you
I delved into this subconscious need to learn that this was a conditioned behaviour from childhood, where in exchange for listening to my parents, getting good grades and keeping up appearances, I received love and validation. When I think about it now – I have to laugh… how unhealthy is that?
I learned to start loving myself without exception. This can take some time, as we naturally default to the mindset that we’ve been raised with for over however many years. I needed to forgive myself for being tough on myself. I needed to forgive myself for seeking validation still. I needed to learn to accept myself through understanding my needs and giving back to myself.
Learning your balance
When I was able to forgive myself for looking to outside sources for validation, then accept myself for the amazing being that I am, I was able to come from a place of understanding and compassion and let myself off if things didn’t go as planned or if I didn’t achieve as much as I had hoped or if I wasn’t productive. I learned to know myself better so that now when I need time out, I take it and when I need something else, I give it to myself.
Ultimately, when I learn what, how and when I needed to bring myself to my optimum balance, I started to unblock myself from the constraints of being perfect (appearing perfect).
Let yourself grow
When you start to release the energy that is blocked in your system from the resentment or regret that you hold for not forgiving and accepting yourself, you can repurpose that energy… and live in the space of your wonderful feminine divine self.