A woman who knows exactly how devastating it is to hear the words ‘I want a divorce’ – especially when you aren’t expecting them.
Alicia Robertson knows how hard this is. The feelings of shame, failure, fear and anger are real and scary and all-consuming. Alicia believes wholeheartedly in feeling and processing them, but also firsthand that the only way to get through this is to honour yourself, rise above what has happened to you, take control and figure this s#*it out one very deliberate decision at a time so that you can start charting a path forward – which is exactly what Alicia Robertson does through Lemonade Life.
ALICIA ROBERTSON IS A ‘DIVORCE GURU’ ON A MISSION TO LIFT THE SHAME & START A CONVERSATION ABOUT ONE OF SOCIETY’S MOST TABOO TOPICS.
She is a trained Life Coach with specializations in Mindfulness and Positive Psychology – and a survivor of an unexpected divorce herself. With humor, candor and wit, she delivers straight talk on all aspects of divorce, from the ‘business of divorce’ to the ‘inside work’ required to come out on the other side feeling whole, hopeful and happy.
In your own words, what do you do?
I help women thrive through divorce and thrive throughout their life. Change is constant and I help women through personal transformation by using divorce as an opportunity to start living their best life, start knowing their authentic self, and start living according to who they are and what they want to be.
When and how did your love for helping women going through difficult times begin?
Having gone through a divorce myself, I wanted to help others because I was really proud of what I was able to learn and establish for myself and my family through the process. It was through that process that I had the epiphany that it is possible to divorce well, that there is life after divorce, and that my children will be just fine.
What inspired you to start Lemonade Life?
With my own divorce, I realized that there are so many opportunities after the ‘great reset’ to become a better mom, a better person, and a better partner. I wanted to help women see the other side of the equation— that divorce isn’t all about blame, shame, victim, and drama. Rather, it can be a beautiful catharsis with the right mindset, the right skills and the right support. When I was going through my divorce, I had to discover all that on my own. I wanted to share that discovery with as many women as I could.
Who are your clients, can you describe them and what they are looking for?
My person is more than a woman undergoing divorce, she is a mid-life woman who is depleted from trying to be everything to everyone under the lens of perfection. She has become all of our titles—wife, mom, daughter, community leader, PTA volunteer—but supporting everyone else has left her depleted. Along the way, her marriage crumbled. I serve that woman, the woman who has long forgotten how to prioritize herself.
What’s the one piece of advice you have for women going through divorce?
It’s too big to go alone. Many of the woman I work with have been terrible at asking for help—they do everything for everyone all the time and have had to be perfect as they do it. The hardest thing for them, and for so many of us, is to recognize that asking for help doesn’t mean that we are not good enough. We are all perfectly imperfect just the way we are.
When did you make helping divorced women a part of your life?
My mission was actually to write a book. And in writing that book, I discovered that there is a huge need for this information and this type of support. I turned the book into what is now Unwife, an interactive and immersive digital course and group coaching experience with a private Facebook community that helps women create their best post-divorce life.
What has been the biggest surprise for you since you started?
I didn’t choose to end my marriage, that choice was made for me. I thought that meant that I my journey had a more intense grieving process. And, I thought that all of my clients would come from that place of being blindsided by their partner’s decision. Instead, I have an equal number of clients who have chosen to end their marriage as those who have not and their grieving processes are the same. I have learned that how someone got here doesn’t matter, it’s about how they accept it as their reality and how they decide to become the leader of their lives.
What has been the most difficult thing for you?
The challenging yet most rewarding line I travel is finding the boundary between candor and compassion. As a coach, I have compassion for the fact that divorce is a crisis and that this is an incredibly vulnerable, personal, and difficult time. But I also require people to hold themselves accountable for how they got to where they are and to have a desire to change. Staying focused on another person is not what’s going to help you improve your own self.
How are you changing the world?
I want to crush the negative stigma of divorce so that people don’t have to feel the associations of blame, shame, and failure. And, I want to crush the notion of ‘staying together for the kids.’ I want women to model the things that matter most to their kids—self-worth, respect, happiness, and resilience. Women are the leaders of their families and if we can change our mindset for ourselves, then we can change the mindset for the future generation that we are turning out into the world. It’s all about our children.
What steps would you share with women who wants to start a business like yours?
There is an incredible personal catharsis in sharing your experience as a coach; it’s equal parts personal as it is professional. You are not just reacting to life, you have done the work and you live in your practice to be able to share meaningful takeaways for your clients. Being in a business that serves people is incredibly important work.